Before any problem can be worked on, both the child and the parent need to be calm in order to think clearly.

Remember not to solve children's problems but help them through the process (see below).

Steps to Problem Solving:
1. Help the child put the problem into words. Sample Statement - "Seems like you want to go to the party but also want to play at home with your new cousin, is that what's bothering you?"
2. Help the child think of possible solutions to the problem. (You may have to ask questions to help the child come up with solutions or suggest some possibilities if the child is unable to come up with his own solutions.) Sample Statement - "What do you think about going for the first half of the party?" "What else could you do?"
3. Help the child to think about how well the above solutions will work. Sample Statement - "Would leaving the party half way through make sense to you? Why or why not?"
4. Guide the child to choose one solution. Sample Statement - "Which one do you want to try?"
5. Follow up with the child after he has followed through. Sample Statement - "How do you think your solution worked?"