Test of Twelve

Do your children know ...

1. How to honor their feelings - if someone makes them uncomfortable, that's an important signal;

2. You (the parents) are strong enough to hear about any experience they've had, no matter how unpleasant;

3. It's okay to rebuff and defy adults;

4. It's okay to be assertive;

5. How to ask for assistance or help;

6. How to choose who to ask;

7. How to describe their dangerous situation;

8. It's okay to strike, even to injure someone, if they believe they are in danger, and that you'll support any action they take as a result of feeling uncomfortable or afraid;

9. It's okay to make noise, to scream, to yell, to run;

10. If someone ever tries to force them to go somewhere, what they scream should include, "This is not my father," (because onlookers seeing a child scream or even struggle are likely to assume the adult is a parent);

11. If someone says "Don't yell," the thing to do is yell (and similarly: If someone says "Don't tell," the thing to do is tell);

12. To fully resist ever going anywhere out of public view with someone they don't know, and particularly to resist going anywhere with someone who tries to persuade them.

Information and personal power will help our children gradually take on the responsibility for their own safety.