Common Questions   When can I have sex?   Can I get pregnant?   What can I expect?

When can I have sex?

Speak to your health care provider before resuming sexual activity.

Most health care providers suggest that couples wait until the 4 - 6 week postpartum check-up to resume sexual intercourse.  

Some couples wish to resume sex prior to the 6 weeks check-up.

Be sure to delay intercourse until:

• Vaginal flow has changed to clear/white mucous or has stopped (even with C-Section)
• Episiotomy / tearing / abdominal scars are healed
• Both partners feel physically and emotionally ready

Can I get pregnant?

Yes! You may be able to get pregnant before your period returns.  Speak with your doctor about family planning and birth control options.

Your period may return:

• 2-18 months after delivery for breastfeeding mothers
• 6-8 weeks after delivery for non-breastfeeding mothers

 It is possible to get pregnant while breastfeeding. 

Speak with your doctor about family planning.

What can I expect?

Physical Changes After Childbirth:

• Pain / sensitivity from episiotomy, c-section and from other trauma from labour may last 6 weeks or longer.
• Decreased vaginal lubrication may last for up to 6 months and while breastfeeding.
• Leaking breastmilk may occur during intercourse.
• Fatigue from labour and/or caring for newborn may occur.
• Female reaction to sexual stimulation may not be as intense or quick for up to 3 months after childbirth.

Common Emotions After Childbirth:

• Fear of pain during intercourse.
• Fear of pregnancy.
• Lack of desire for sex for a few weeks after delivery up to a year.
• Stress from changes in daily routines and additional responsiblities/roles.
• Woman may not feel attractive.
• Role confusion: e.g., man may temporarily view partner only in maternal role.
• Increased desire for sex after childbirth may occur in some women.

How to resume sex

• Start with cuddling, kissing, and closeness until both partners are ready for intercourse.
• Next try gentle stimulation of the genitals.
• Use a water-based gel (e.g. K.Y. Jelly) or spermicide for lubrication.
• Slowly insert penis into the vagina.
• Try different positions to maximize comfort.
• If intercourse is too painful, stop and try an alternate method of satisfaction or try again when you feel more comfortable.
• Avoid deep thrusting.
• Speak with your doctor if sexual intercourse remains uncomfortable beyond two months after childbirth.

Helpful Tips:

• Communicate feelings/needs to partner.
• Plan sexual activities after infant’s feeding (if breastfeeding) to reduce leaking breastmilk.
• Wear a bra with liners or put a towel on the bed during sexual intercouse to absorb any leaking breastmilk.
• Make setting aside time with partner a priority.
• Kegel exercises strengthen pelvic floor and vaginal muscles which helps with penetration.

 Click here to download our brochure entitled: Sex after Childbirth

References

Alteneder, R. R., & Hartzell, D.  (1997).      Addressing couples’ sexuality concerns during the childbearing period:  Use of the PLISSIT model.  Journal of Obstetric, Gynaecological, and Neonatal Nursing, 26(6), 651-658.

Canadian Health Network.  (2003). What do I need to know about having sex during and after pregnancy?  Retrieved November 2, 2004, from: http://www.canadian-health-network.ca

Lowdermilk, D. L., Perry, S. E., & Bobak, I. M. (1997).  Maternity & women’s health care (6th ed., pp. 460-463).  St. Louis, MO:  Mosby-Year Book, Inc. 

Murkoff, H., Eisenberg, A., & Sandee, H.  (2002). What to expect when you’re expecting.  New York:  Workman Publishing.

Polomeno, V.  (1995). Sexual intercourse after the birth of a baby.  International Journal     of Childbirth Education, 10(4), 35-37.

Wilkerson, N. N., & Shrock, P.  (2000). Sexuality in the perinatal period.  In Nichols, F. H., & Smith Humenick, S. (Eds.), Childbirth education:  Practice, research and theory (2nd ed., pp. 48-65).  Philadelphia, PA:  W.B. Saunders Co.