Does your child lose control of his behaviour at large gatherings?  Would your daughter prefer to wear jogging clothes rather than a pretty party dress? Do you wonder if your son will ever stay willingly at day care? If you answer, “yes” to these questions your child may be a spirited child.

Spirited children are normal, just “ more”.  They have traits that we admire in adults but find difficult to deal with in children. When an adult is persistent we say he is motivated; when a child is persistent we label him stubborn.

Temperament is defined as a person’s usual way of responding to things going on around him. There are nine temperament traits: persistence, activity level, adaptability, intensity, first reaction, perceptiveness, sensitivity, regularity, and disposition. Looking at where your child is on a continuum of each of these traits will help you better understand his behaviour. The child who has a high level of sensitivity may complain that new shoes hurt her feet. The child who is slow to adapt will need time to settle in when left at daycare.

Understanding that both the temperament of the parent and the child influence the parent-child relationship will help you be more accepting of your child’s unique personality. There will always be some friction in this relationship. Excessive stress in the relationship may result in behaviour problems. However by adapting parenting styles to fit your child’s temperament, and focusing on his strengths, you will help your child reach his full potential.

The Windsor-Essex County Health Unit offers a 2-hour workshop on Living With Your Spirited Child . The health unit has also developed a handout  “Living With Your Spirited Child" booklet.

For More information contact the Intake Nurse:

•  Windsor-Essex County local calls: 519-258-2146 ext. 1340
• Long distance calls: 1-800-265-5822 ext. 1340

Reference: 

• Kurcinka, Mary Sheedy (1998). Raising Your Spirited Child. Harper Perennial.